they only like you when you're 17

yes

2006-09-13T01:24:41Z

Mom admits rewarding son with pot

Pa. woman gave 13-year-old marijuana for completing his homework

She admitted she had been smoking marijuana with her son since he was 11 and said she had also smoked with two of his friends, ages 17 and 18.

eastsidebrownie @ 2006-07-11T19:29:00

2006-07-12T02:33:41Z

Holland, London, and Paris..

..hold a place in the city for me.

I'll be back soon.

the class of 2006

2006-06-24T17:09:22Z

donedonedonedonedonedonedonedonedonedonedonedonedonedonedonedonedone

now it's time for the trip of my life with books and friends and city life and foreign boys... the list could go on.

what a glorious day.

2006-06-07T00:56:34Z

Everything I do, I regret.

dear you,

2006-06-01T06:35:53Z

I'm writing to you this letter. A stament or perhaps a question of what has overcame us. If only I were the one to be true and confess. Something I just stress over how everything should and could have been. Yet, "im yours" and I still feel like I'm not filling enough space. I don't want to waste precious time. This may be the last, unless you can keep up with and understand me more and more. Goodnight. I'm afraid to tell you those short three words because I just don't know how to anymore with anyone. Especially those who matter the most.

Love,

Me

P.S. one day it'll be heaven.

eastsidebrownie @ 2006-05-08T19:01:00

2006-05-09T02:12:37Z

Spring Break

seems so long ago..

P.S. I'm going to Holland with my twin, Liz.

la vie.

2006-04-26T04:22:34Z

School:
I've never felt so threatened by people, even friends, than ever before. Not like this. Everything is causing me to be nervous all the time. The little confidence that used to flow through my veins has drained completely out of me. I'm almost certain this isn't being control by me for I'm just as fraustrated as those who ~~have~~ had faith in me. My head is filled with doubt. It wakes me up early in the morning before I can even be conscious enough to start my day. The world seems to cave in on me leaving me no air to breathe. I get tense when I'm not supposed to. I relax when I'm not supposed to. I have no control over my emotions, or lack there of, anymore. My appetite is gone yet my stomach is always upset feeling like it's full of unhealthy substances. The brain that I once had... gone. I'm left speechless. I stuff my nose in books and plug my ears with headphones and try, almost praying, that everything will disappear.

The Boy:
It's terrible how because of my shamful and regretful relationships in the past affects the way I handle them now. To constantly assume the worse is just a habit. My trust in people, guys especially, isn't so strong. I promise it's not that much of my fault as it may seem. I know there's a whole other life to a person and I'll just have to handle that. I'm seriously afraid of falling too hard for this one. If only he knew how much of a big deal it is to me. Considering there's only less than 2 months left of shool, and we're still getting to know each other, hurts my heart.

Dance:
Without a doubt dancing is always in my body. Always makes me feel like I belong.. somewhere. Gives me a reason to live each day. It's the purest joy of joys. I must say that it's hard to express that in the enviroment at school. I feel shunned by all my teachers and all the other dancers to the point where I don't even want to be seen. No one expects anything out of me.

Music:
Surprisingly, jazz and hip hop have been joyfully filling my ear drums lately. Nice music to dance to as well.

Future Summer Plans:
Hopefully I will get to experience the hype of camping again, travelling around Europe with my girls, the whole San Francisco business with the dancers, then.. shit off to college to start the whole damn 4-year thing over again.

spring break

2006-04-23T00:15:31Z

Lost I-pod.
Got into car accident.
Lake Cachuma: Santa Barbara
w/Jon, Liz, Stella, Zak, Brian, Jenna-Rose, Ben, Jibril, and I

Yes. Senior class reunited.

T'was a great week, well, aside for my stupidity.

eastsidebrownie @ 2006-04-19T13:13:00

2006-04-19T20:13:20Z

This new life has brought me to the end of the old. Forgetting regrets and living happily with the present.